Jermaine Jackson's announcement that the Jackson 5 would reunite has been scuppered somewhat by Michael Jackson's announcement that no way in hell is the Jackson 5 reuniting, thank you very much. I'm not sure I believe that he's "in the studio," but I think saying no to Jermaine may be the smartest choice MJ has made since "Say Say Say." Read all about it at good old Idolator.

Hold on to your hats, it's none other than Walk The Line's Joaquin Phoenix:

Oscar-nominated actor Joaquin Phoenix made a shocking announcement to "Extra," saying, "I want to take this opportunity...to give you the exclusive ... that this will be my last performance as an actor... I'm not doing films anymore."

Probed further by "Extra's" Jerry Penacoli, "Are you serious?" Phoenix, who was curiously being followed by his own camera crews, reiterated, "Yeah. I'm working on my music. I'm done. I've been through that."

Penacoli, still suspicious, followed up with Casey Affleck who was standing next to Phoenix. Penacoli asked, "I take it that he's kidding?" Affleck responded, "I don't think he's kidding. He's got music and stuff."

Today, "Extra" contacted Phoenix's rep for clarification and got this response: "That is what he told me."

Last week, I saw the venerable, eternally underappreciated great American songwriter Randy Newman play a bumpy-but-brilliant 34-song, two hour live set in Seattle. It made me remember that his newest LP, Harps and Angels, is my favorite album of the year. Then I read this fantastic interview with Newman on Pitchfork, of all places. It's one of the best I've read—and I read them ALL.

From RollingStone.com, a brief report on a few of the minor revelations in Eminem's new book:

With his new memoir, Eminem is speaking to his fans again — after more than three years out of the limelight. So where has he been? In The Way I Am, the rapper reveals the depression caused by the 2006 death of his best friend and mentor Proof — and, briefly, what’s next: “I’ve been recording the new album mainly in the crib. Makes it very easy for me. It’s like the old days, only there’s a lot more than a rusty four-track in my basement.”

Those old days are clearly on the MC’s mind: Over 210 pages, he remembers childhood bullies (”My brain really was fucking bleeding out of my ear,” he recalls about one beating), his absent father (”Fuck him. I’m beyond wanting to know that dude”) and his transient upbringing (”Some of the seventh grade and all of eighth grade…was the longest I ever went to one school”). While much of this is familiar ground to fans who study his lyrics, The Way I Am (writing with Ego Trip’s Sacha Jenkins) does a solid job of connecting the dots.

Fans will be interested to learn, for instance, that Eminem’s dyed-blond hair is the result of an Ecstasy bender. “Dre was dead silent [and then said], ‘That’s it! We found your image,’” he recalls. He says he reached out to Elton John after accusations of homophobia in his lyrics reached a fever pitch. He also lends credence to the rumors that 2003’s “Superman” was inspired by a romance with Mariah Carey. “If you read between the lines…You’ll know what I’m talking about.”

But it’s not all as fascinating; his custom-sneaker collection and his battles with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog get inordinate space. Though he’s willing to write about the three girls he’s raising (daughter Hailie, niece Alaina and Hailie’s half-sister Whitney), Eminem largely ignores his ex-wife, Kim, and his litigious mother, Debbie. And the sleeping-pill dependency that landed him in rehab is referred to obliquely: “The whole drug thing built into a problem for me at some point,” he writes. “I’m glad that I realized it and set myself in the right direction.”

The Slim has seemed like hip-hop’s own J.D. Salinger recently makes more sense when you read about his reaction to Proof’s death: “It was a year before I could really do anything normal again. I had days where I couldn’t walk, let alone write a rhyme. This is the biggest tragedy I could imagine, aside from something happening to my kids.”

The mighty Ann Powers, music critic for the LA Times, wrote a mildly critical, generally admiring review of a Tina Turner concert in which she suggested that the 68-year-old pop legend may have lost a step or two vocally, and Turner's fans responded by going completely mental.

"This woman is an inspiration to us all," wrote reader Marlene Leitner. "For you to criticize her in any way is a lack of respect for her talent and professionalism. Wait until you turn 68 (almost 69) and see if you can get out and do half of what she does. Shame on you."

Charlie DiCandilo was more vehement. "YOU REALLY DON'T GET IT, DO YOU," he wrote. "That's all I can say to you......Who do you think go to these shows, DIE-HARD FANS.FANS.FANS....A fan of a super star will go to any and all shows that are available and possible.....A fan loves the artist no matter what.....For you as a columnist to tear apart this show was really out of control."

The entertainment journalist Rona Elliot wrote a lengthy letter to the editor objecting to my review. Elliot expressed a dislike of my approach to criticism in general, calling it "cerebral" and self-serving. She suggested that my assessment of the concert was inaccurate, and she wrote, "At this stage in her life and career, Turner's motivation is clearly to finally complete the circle and acknowledge all the paths that led her to where she is now. To know her sound over the course of these decades allows you to appreciate that Turner's voice is now richer, calmer and more soulful, if possible; her beauty is transcendent and timeless."

Sue Sisk was another fan who felt my report didn't match her experience (though she saw Turner in Anaheim). "As far as our group was concerned Tina's performance at the Honda Center last night was a concert of a lifetime and she more than exceeded our expectations," she wrote. "We had no idea that she even skipped a beat. Her energy is unstoppable and I can only pray that we can all move like her at 68....stilettos and all."

Powers then wrote a second story addressing the backlash, bringing up several thoughtful, important ideas about pop music, fandom, and the purpose of criticism in the process. Like almost everything Powers writes, it's smart and true.

America, Katy Perry's dignity is on the line! The heroically becleavaged singer of global megahit (and musical atrocity) "I Kissed a Girl" ended her performance at the 15th MTV Latin America Awards by slippin' and a-slidin' across a stage slimy with pink frosting, hot pants aloft, ballet slippers desperate for purchase, bustier-clad torso all over the place. Video is here.

Dave Grohl has joined the long list of artists demanding that John McCain stop using their songs at his campaign rallies. Following the example of Jackson Browne, Heart, Van Halen, John Mellencamp, and... uh... Orleans, Grohl has insisted that the McCainers lay off playing his song "My Hero" at his whistle stops—not simply because Grohl disagrees with his politics, but because the whole point of the song is that the guy he's singing about is "ordinary," and not a 200-year-old man trying to make himself look heroic (I'm paraphrasing).

Not paraprhrasing:

"It's frustrating and infuriating that someone who claims to speak for the American people would repeatedly show such little respect for creativity and intellectual property," the band says in a statement. "The saddest thing about this is that 'My Hero' was written as a celebration of the common man and his extraordinary potential. To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song."

Burn.

It would appear (again) that Guns'n'Roses are finally (again) releasing (again) Chinese Democracy (again). This time, the details say Novemeber 23 (a Sunday), exclusively at Best Buy stores. More deets here. PS Who even cares?

First, he was a de facto aggressor in crypto-racial violence against fellow musicians. Next, he shows up in a TV commercial for butter. Dear John Lydon, a/k/a Johnny Rotten, a/k/a greatest rock frontman of all time: Please stop making a mockery of yourself for money. Signed, the seven people who still care. (Disapproving ad commentary fromEntertainment Weekly, which is saying something, as, to be fair, am I, right up in here.)

If it wasn't already, the 2008 Presidential Election is pretty much officially over with the announcement that:

Colombian Singer Shakira Endorses Obama

CHICAGO — Colombian superstar Shakira says Democrat Barack Obama is the best candidate for president, citing his leadership skills.

In a statement Saturday, the Grammy-winning pop artist said Obama can restore peace and the world's confidence in the United States. Obama faces Republican presidential nominee John McCain in the Nov. 4 election.

Obama said he was honored to receive the singer's endorsement. The Illinois senator praised Shakira as a role model for young Latinas in the U.S. and beyond.

Shakira encouraged U.S. Latinos to vote in November.

The United States "has a profound importance to me, and I think to the whole world as well," she said.

Some hippies are having a party tonight:

MONTPELIER, Vt. — Phish is getting back together.

The Vermont-bred jam band, which disbanded in 2004, is planning three dates next March in Hampton, Virginia. A notice posted on the band's Web site says Phish will play March 6, March 7 and March 8, 2009, at the Hampton Coliseum. The Web site says more 2009 dates will be announced later.

A spokesman for the Coliseum, who wouldn't give his name, confirmed the booking.

Phish was among the nation's top touring acts when it called it quits in 2004. The band received a lifetime achievement award at the Jammy Awards last May.

The news of the theft of Peter Buck's signature Rickenbacker guitar—the instrument that helped define the jangly sound of R.E.M. and appears on every record the band has made, from the Chronic Town E.P. 27 years ago to this year's Accelerate, as well as the first guitar Buck ever bought—from off the stage after an R.E.M. show in Finland sent sympathetic shock waves through the world of rock. So much so that the guitar has now been miraculously returned to Buck unharmed, undamaged, and most importantly, unsold. Well done, Scandinavia!